Short Attention Span - A Gender Trait?
Do girls have longer attention span than guys generally? I seem to feel that way.
I mean - think back to the time when one was in school (eons ago, I know) but it seemed to me that the people who were always being scolded or reprimanded in class for not paying attention were usually the guys. For a girl to receive such scoldings - it's probably cos she is VERY blur in the first place.
And when there were tasks assigned - usually the guys will also lose track of what they were suppposed to do and probably end up playing with other things, get distracted and lose track of the time.
One would think after years of training in the local education system - they would have grown out of it. Apparently not - thus, I shall proclaim it a gender trait - that's specific only to the guys...
Don't be too quick to point an accusing finger at me, yadah yadah yadah - I speak from actual life-experience, OK?
It was almost like an avalanche at first - phone calls every night (each lasting 2-3 hours). If that was not possible - then it was constant exchange of SMSes during the day. Then requests to meet for dinner, go clubbing, etc. After that, it was MSN interspersed with phone calls. and morning calls to wake up.
The whole CHARADE (yes, please note the use of this word - which as defined by Merriam-Webster: an empty or deceptive act or pretense; a display of emotion or behavior that is insincere or intended to deceive) lasted for about 2 weeks.
Then zilch.
No phonecalls.
No SMSes.
No morning calls.
No MSN chats.
Faster than a speeding bullet?
Not that I am desperately dying for some attention - but the speed of how this whole thing started, developed and ended still never ceased to amaze me. The irony - in our first few conversations - there was a proposal that should I remain single (read - LEFT ON THE SHELF) by age 30, and the other party was also single - he'd OFFER to marry me.
Woah - what a committment - and 2 weeks later, it's as if I didn't even exist. No wonder a good friend of mine - after 'sniffing in the air' for rumours - told me that he's not the one.
If you think I am lamenting and grieving over the end of what could be a 'torrid, passionate' affair - please think again and also note my disclaimer here - the interest is not 2-way. It's probably my lack of passionate interest that exacerbated the demise of it.
Sighz... that's to express my huge disappointment with those of that gender. Tsk tsk tsk...
Hitman Wanted
One thing that's disgustingly annoying about relatives is that you are connected by blood - or so they say. Then how come we are so mean and bitchy to each other - it's always some relatives of yours who go around spreading nasty rumours about you, backstab you behind your back, etc, ain't it?
And they still dare say blood is thicker than water.
Back to the topic about it being obnoxiously irritating is that I cannot choose to break off the ' relationship' - DAMN! With 'friends' or more accurately - ex-friends, I could just do that. But in our still rather conservative society here - no way - family is the basic unit of the society.
Which brings me back to one particular psych tutorial I was in - the tutor was asking us about our values and to list 5 of our values, from the most important to the least important. Initially I had put self-satisfaction, freedom of choice as the top 2,followed by family & friends and then personal development & growth. However, I could not find the last one to fill in and work and achievement were important to me but they definitely didn't deserve spot no. 5 - so I just chucked it into position no. 1 - which seemed an alright place to me.
Later the tutor grouped people according to their values and at least 90% of the gals in my class put family & friends first. I was the ONLY gal who had work/ achievement as my top value - the rest were guys - not fresh from Uni, but those who had some work experience outside/ had lived/ studied abroad for a while... I'm sure you get my drift - family & friends are like no. 4 on my list of important values.
And I do mean it - yeah, sure, my parents brought me up, fed me, clothed me, etc...but you know, that's that. And don't even mention the OTHER member of my nuclear family. There's this current situation in my family now whereby there is ONE member who only talks to ONE other member of my family. And it's not me - I talk to my dad, mum. My mum talks to my dad.. My dad talks to me and my mum. Go figure - it ain't that hard.
I so wanna sever ties man - what's the use of a relative if the ONLY thing they do is to get you down, destroy your $420 (after sale) Furla leather bag before you have had a decent chance to use it, use up most of your Prescriptives loose powder (situation made worse by the fact that Prescriptives has pulled out of Asia!), hurl insults at you - you know, I think psychologist would term this kinda people as a negative force/ etc who is sucking one dry. The advice they give to people whose spouses/ partners are like that - LEAVE.
Darn, I wish I could too - now just awaiting the day (with much impatience) whereby wedding bells will ring and I'll get my room; freedom and sanity back. Please, just drop some guy from the air and have a crash wedding. Out of sight, out of mind (hopefully!!!)
Now you know what I need a hitman...
Scars
SCARS
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shutMy weakness is that I care too muchAnd my scars remind me that the past is realI tear my heart open just to feelDrunk and I'm feeling downAnd I just wanna be aloneI'm pissed cos you came aroundWhy don't you just go homeCos you channel all your painAnd I can't help you fix yourselfYou're making me insaneAll I can say isI tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feelI tried to help you onceAgainst my own adviceI saw you going downBut you never realisedThat you're drowning in the waterSo I offered my handCompassions in my natureTonight is our last standI tear my heart open, I sew myself shutMy weakness is that I care too muchAnd our scars remind us that the past is realI tear my heart open just to feelI'm drunk and I'm feeling downAnd I just wanna be aloneYou shouldn't ever come aroundWhy don't you just go home?Cos you're drowning in the waterAnd I tried to grab your handAnd I left my heart open But you didn't understandBut you didn't understandGo fix yourselfI can't help you fix yourselfBut at least I can say I triedI'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own lifeI can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own lifeI tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feelI tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feelPapa Roach
Phonecalls (II)
Was supposed to blog about this last time; but either was too busy, bogged down, or just plain forgot about it.
Anyway, it's a bit hard to keep having long phone conversations at night, especially when my own time table is that packed, and freaking early. Am already having insomnia from the upcoming stress (it's yet to be here and I am ALREADY stressed out) and the deadlines, readings, etc. Somehow, I missed school last time, not now.
It sucks to have to study with an obligation hanging over your head and having people to keep reminding you of the fact.
Actually freaked out big time last night over the whole avalanche of things that came my way - or more specifically, things that needed to be completed or done by this morning. Especially when I have lessons 6 hours in a row that started at 930 am - there wasn't much chance that I could get those done early in the morning. Actually viewed the video (for a module) at about 1 am, then searched for some award-winning books and panicked about the unprinted notes of 93 pages.
It was so bad that I was on a depression binge - whacked chocolate ice-cream, strawberry milk, potato chips, and tons of other junk food. And nothing could satisfy me or make me satiated- I just kept eating and getting depressed. Totally horrendous....
The phonecall during all that mess was definitely a welcome one - affirmation that it is INDEED overwhelming and that if addressed rationally, the situation could be improved - was really balm to my panicky soul...
It was, in short, a good phonecall. Sometimes, in our rush to do things, get things done, work, earn money, we tend to forget how the little small things do count at times when it really sucks. And it was a sweet and kind gesture - definitely much appreciated. :)
