Just 2 Weeks More
Time sure flies; it's been 1 whole week since I have touched my laptop....since it 'died' an unnatural death last sunday night. I was supposed to call Dell & try to get help...but somehow, I always either get home just too late, or be too tired to try that. Hence, just when I made up my mind to call them this morning....hmm, my laptop suddenly revived...miraculously..indeed...Oh well, of course I'd be more than thankful and am definitely NOT complaining.
Just realised that a lot of things have been happening...not just to me, but to people I know. It is virtually impossible to contact EVERYONE everyday just to maintain one's position in the "Hey, I know you are still alive & kicking" list... c'mon, we only have like 24 hours a day...out of which I spend 8 of it on sleeping, 10 hours in the office/ working and more than my fair share of it COMMUTING.... I don't even have enough time to communicate & talk to myself...let alone you??? As long as we get that clear here.
Oh, the title just "2 Weeks More" is supposed to reflect the number of days I have left...in my office. Time definitely just rushes by; there are STILL so many things I have to do. And the fact that my boss still piled work on me is definitely NOT a good thing. Which reminds of HOW pathetic her interpersonal skills are. I had already told my chairman that I was leaving and told him my perception of the whole situation that made it impossible to stay any longer in my current job. He had requested me to stay for 2 months more to ensure a smooth hand-over and tying up of all the loose ends. However, it was not possible, the latest I could start over at the new office was 17 May; which leaves me 5 weeks ...but I am already NOT taking any leave.
Thus, in view of my resignation, my 'BOss' emailed the 2 chairmen whom I was working with and proposed that 2 of my colleagues take over my chapters, blah blah blah...and the worst thing is, when she sent that email... she had NOT (1) asked my colleagues about it, (fine, you are the boss, NO one can defy your instructions...but (2) not even informed my colleagues about her intention...and (3) not even cc them the email. Hence, no one knows exactly what the hell is happening. Then my chairman replied her email with asking her that following their phone conversation, when will my last day be. (and this is after she told me that I can just stay till 7 May...serve 1 full month's notice and be OFF)...Then she PANICKED....the email was sent on a Sat...on Monday, she then fwded the WHOLE email to me...and it read "When would you want your last day to be? The Academy is flexible if you want to stay beyond...blah blah blah.."
ADUH, just who is the one requesting for a favour here? Then why does it sound like I am the one who is absolutely DYING to stay there and that the company is just so nice that they are willing to accommodate my request and that they even compensate me for my leave and extra days worked. what a BITCH!!! The only reason why she even bothered to ask me was cos there is the doctor breathing down her neck..and she had not yet found a suitable replacement for me. And then 2 hours after I had received the email, she FINALLY walked over to ask me about the email and when I'd be starting my new job and so pointed stated that she had NO idea why my chairman wanted me to stay longer (basically, why should we pay you when there is no need for you to work). She even stated, besides an upcoming issue (which my chairman cc her), there is nothing much left right? Yeah, right...like real it is.... the freaking reason why she even has such a perception is because she doesn't even know what I am doing, what my responsibilities are and what I have done..and after being here for about a year, she still has NO interest to find out. Yes, WE also shake our heads in despair over here...
And she had the cheek to insinuate "Hmm, dunno why Dr Tan wants you to stay also..." Then I shot back, no...I still have a lot of things to do and tie up...as for the last day, I'll call him and ask him what other outstanding issues there were on Wednesday, he is on leave these 2 days". The more I mulled over it, the more I despised the attitude and the tone in the email and the conversation; it is downright condescending and void of any respect. FINE, why should I then bend myself just to ensure that SHE gets a replacement in time..also, I am working so hard that I don't even have the time to research on the industry I will be in... and I seriously gotta revise all my theories & concepts. And the week before I start work is the ONLY time I have to catch up and all that and psych myself for the new responsibilities, environment and culture... Definitely NOt worth giving it up for her. Hence, I just shot back a reply - My last day in the office is 7 May. Let her go and panic....
Call me mean, evil, petty, whatever... you just have not seen what this 'Boss' has done to the pple in the office...then you'll know who is the real mean one... ARgk, talking about this just gets my blood boiling....can you imagine, I am already leaving and theoretically, can dun give a single hoot about her and her stupid policies and her biasedness...and I still get so freaking worked out? Go figure...
Crappy Mood
Yes, I get pissed off easily, so what? Am I not even entitled to that?
It's MY mood, it's my day, I don't even vandalise or commit arson; so where's the illegality in what I do?
So what? Being easily pissed off is just a way to say that "it sure got me DAMN irrritated; but the person or the issue is NOT worth my while for me to get angry over it.
So just get Pissed Off lah...aduh..
Interviews...Choices....??
Are the 2 words up there synonymous? I also don't know, but to me, they are. Interviews are always opportunities, to something potentially better. Not necessarily, because one won't know the exact situation till they have started, but definitely a potential step up in the right direction.
Somehow, I just suddenly felt the wave of fatigue come over me; oh dear, and it isn't even 12 yet...and I am already so tired?? Age must be catching up; gotta do something about it. THis cannot go on; the doctors I work with are already asking - so, where do you go clubbing? And I am more than ashamed to answer that I have long given that particular ' activity ' up... It's just not worth the money, the time, the inhalation of smoke that increases my risk of getting lung cancer...and most of all, the feeling and looking like 'cwap' the next day that totally puts me off.
Oh well, think I'll probably continue with this the next day... sleep deprived brain cells also cannot think well enough to deliver coherent sentences.
High Expectations? Me?
Yeah... I have been accused of that so many times that I have also lost count. It just seems like a double-edged sword; up till now, I still have no idea if it is meant to be a compliment or just a derogatory term that happens to be nicely masked. I do suppose it also depends on the context in which it is delivered.
Oh well, it actually started off like this; I was in a particular situation where I wasn't exactly thrilled with some arrangements - that is putting it really vaguely...I have to! I didn't realise that there are so many people who do read my blog ... until this very day; hence, really treading on eggshells here. But then again, I cannot cease complaining; some stuff just irks me SO much I gotta blare it out online....cos to protect all parties...vague is the way to go man.... Hence, I told my colleague about the whole scenario and how I would have done it another way..and all the things leading to it and how I totally don't think that highly of the whole thing, situation, result and person involved... and that such breed of people totally don't inspire any respect in me for them...
then she went " you gotta lower your expectations...they are too high.."
Woah... can you imagine? Me? Too high expectations?? Hmm, I suppose that is not too far from the truth.. I do have that attitude towards various things...myself included, in terms of what I want for myself in the future, where I aspire to be??? Oh well, btw, I just got rejected by BCG - the dream position that I have been dreaming of; can you beat it? I didn't even get shortlisted.... what a disappointment. Yeah, i am sure some of you are already thinking indignantly - 'haven't you ALREADY gotten a new job?? why the hell are you thinking of applying for other positions or even going for interviews?'
The answer is simple - I want to know my 'market value'; of course it feels great to be 'wanted' by more than 1 company - then I have the power of choice; they don't choose me, I get to do the choosing; that is power...and believe it, it is HUGE power. There is nothing worse than to have to stick to a job even though one is treated REALLY badly and worse, UNFAIRLY... and having no other choice..because one just doesn't have that privilege and freedom of choice. That is what my 'boss' knows and what she is using to my department.... Despicable right? I totally concur!
Bravado? Altruism? Or Just Plain Stupidity?
I have never liked the way a particular charity raises their funds; for those who have had their eyes glued to that Mandarin channel last weekend and plan to do it for tmrw night, I am sure you know JUST which particular one I am talking about.
Not that I have anything agst such charitable organisations; I also know their need to raise funds, to help the needy - hey, I did my thesis on issues related to this non-proft organizations. However, I found the way they kept pushing real life cases of patients, and how much suffering they were going through on tv all the time extremely distasteful. The society does not need to be constantly reminded of their situations. Yes, perhaps when we are all too caught up in the rat race and fail to notice that there are some others who are less fortunate than us who do need our help. But still, there is NO need to keep playing and replaying the 3-4 minute 'short film' on the suffering each patient is suffering just before and after ad breaks. There is also no need to make them the special guests of that night's show and close in on them when the show resumes. It is enough to just make one feel bad about their plight; they don't have to keep rubbing it in my face...
And for all the artistes who spent so much time and effort and really risked their lives and limbs performing all those stunts...please..I just find it plain stupid and extremely irresponsible. Is there such a need for all of you to take up the challenge, bear the risk of potentially hurting, maiming or even killing yourselves, just to get people to donate? What is the use of having people throw darts into your back? And all of them go teary-eyed and keep making the gesture to ask the audience to call and donate. And we DO....because we also feel bad and guilty that they are risking their lives for the show...but I do question...everyone of you as well as the artistes as well as the management who proposed that these artistes perform such stunts... IS THERE A REAL NEED TO RESORT TO THIS??? Wouldn't this have degenerated to nothing more than the Russian circus, just that instead of throwing darts at dogs..or what have you, now you use these celebrities instead. Must someone's life be in danger before we will donate?? I am sure these artistes do feel that they are making a difference, they are doing something meaningful here, which I totally agree with. But still the question remains, is there a real need to resort to such means to grab attention, to gain sympathy in the name of raising funds to help the underprivileged?
Those who came up with this idea...please...think again... don't exploit us just because we tend to be more sympathetic when people, especially celebrities whom we like are risking their lives for a meaningful cause... Frankly, this ruse is downright despicable..... and just goes to show how far we have 'evolved' as a society.. Don't praise yourselves for having broken some previous records on how much the event has raised, or that how many more patients you have helped...we all know that for each dollar that is raised...only 56 cents go to the patients...what about the rest? And we even have several ministers or MPs declaring their support for such a situation... and backing their methods. We shouldn't be proud that we are helping the less fortunate... we should be extremely ashamed cos we have to resort to endangering someone's lives to grab enough attention and to wave the carrot of winning cash and free vouchers to entice the public to make the donations....
Go ahead, point your finger again, but this time, it's not at me...
So Much to Do... So Little Time
Yes, I am a great believer in that; or perhaps I feel this way so strongly because I just can't manage my time well. But people who know me well would beg to differ; I am such a stickler for having a fixed schedule - I absolutely HAVe to know what is part of the program before I commit myself to anything. Not that I am such a great planner; I procrastinate a lot as well; somehow, Sundays just ain't seem the right day for working, no matter how much work I've brought home; they somehow get neglected till 11 pm on Sunday night, or even worse, brought back to the office in their original state on Monday morning...
Hence, the only reasonable conclusion I can arrive at is that there is just so much to do, yet so little time.... there are many times when I wish that there are 48 hrs in a day, but I only need to sleep/ rest 12 hours, which will leave me with 36 hrs ... dedicate say...10 hours to work, I still have 26 hours left to socialize, upgrade myself (yeah....change myself to a P4 issit?), read the NEWspapers, current affairs, economics, fictional books just for a more interesting point of view...meet up with friends, get to know new friends, try my best to visit a gym - more than just the usual glance that I am giving them nowadays... meditate, watch enough tv to still be up to date on the latest Hollywood offerings...and so much more....Yeah, they are all on my "TO DO LIST" everyday...
The situation has gotten so bad that I have to resort to calling friends when commuting, most of the time, on the way home from either work or anywhere else...and sms my friends when tutoring... I suppose my priorities are all warped...that I agree with; no one else would go back to office on a Saturday when it is not needed (and even more so when they have already tendered their letter of resignation..) It is so apparent that something up there is definitely wired wrongly...too bad no one can rectify it.
And what makes it worse is that I just need so much sleep a day....I cannot nap; it totally screws up my sleeping hours at night...and nowadays, I have to hit the bed before 1 am every night, preferably by 12 mn...so that I can wake up relatively well-rested by 7.30 am the next morning..which works out to be almost 7.5 hours of sleep each night. And should I miss it by a bit, I do turn up looking and feeling exactly like a piece of 'cwap'! Trust me, I've tried it by watching Boston Public which ends at 1.30 am...and the next day...woah..felt like I've got a sack of rocks in my brain..that somehow manages to infect the rest of the brain cells into thinking that they are rocks too, yeah... brainless rocks..
If you are wondering what the heck I am rambling about....erm, there are so many things in my head now..that I have thought of writing down/ more accurately - blogging...during work, while commuting...but a fren of mine has been complaining to me that I have not updated my blog in ages...hence..decided to just settle that particular issue now by talking incessantly about something and everything irrelevant... yeah..my mind just wanders off like that....probably gotta get a leash to keep all the ideas in...
Oh well, here is the 1st installment of everything and anything irrelevant...that has no other particular use but to use up the space here and to allow my to practice my typing skills...I still have NO idea what my typing speed is like...so when on interview forms..they put typing speed - WPM...I go...eh...erm...100??? I absolutely have NO idea. I mean, nowadays, no one else goes for official typing classes anymore..I mean, if you want a crash course in that..just go IRC or MSN or icq and try chatting with more than 3 extremely 'talkative' people at the same time ...am positive you'll become a fantastic typist in less than 1 month's time...I can't say the same for your spelling though...
The 'Warpedity' of the World Around Us
Fine, I 'fess up; there is NO such word as the one above - 'Warpedity' - it's self-invented. However, just 'warped' alone doesn't do the extent of its existence in our wacky world any justice at all. Also, it's not that bad to have 'contributor to the Dictionary of New Words' in my resume; everyone needs ego-stroking; I DEMAND it...
Okies, the list of things that made me slap the 'lovely' society we are living in with such a description: -
1. THEY DYED BABY CHICKS A WHOLE VARIETY OF COLORS - just to celebrate Easter!!!
Leave your color dyeing for the chocolates that people eat; ain't it enough to paint our innards with rainbow colors? You still want to inflict that humiliation on baby chicks? And in the name of easter as well? Besides my indignation of such horrendous treatment inflicted on those poor creatures - my sense of right & wrong (not moral justice, in case you were wondering), is screaming to me that BABY CHICKS SHOULD BE YELLOW!!!
That is what makes baby chicks & ducklings cute and feathery (they don't have fur; they are BIRDS...aduh). And dyeing them all these colors such as green, blue and red.....Ewwww, definitely done in very bad taste. So to all those money-crazed businessmen, who are doing this to attract the attention of kids during Easter...and to drive up sales....Why not try this - dye yourself or at least your hair with this colors in the hope that others will find you 'cuter' & more 'adorable' - I'm sure you'll enjoy the extra attention.
2. This world is definitely getting crazier and more dangerous, and not to say, with screwed up morals. Take the situation in Iraq for example; since when is it ever valiant to abduct helpless, innocent civilians and use them as a bargaining tool for outrageous demands? In the past, even as recent as WWI, it was customary to ONLY engage soldiers in combat; you don't touch the civilians - especially children, women & old people. The line was crossed after that; definitely, as seen in WWII, the Vietnam War, etc.
But this incident is really carried to extremes - and the worst thing is, the 'political groups' or insurgents as they are more politely known as, don't see the difference between the governments and their citizens. Just because I am a citizen of Country A doesn't necessarily mean that I advocate or support whatever they do! And their excuse is that they are fighting for their own country - yes; by killing and mutiliating foreigners in your country, abducting and threatening to kill innocent civilians, who are there for a cause - to help rebuild your nation, to help create the infrastructure that you desperately need to improve the standard of living. I am not saying that Uncle Sam is totally right, a hero whom everyone should grovel to. But I am definitely stating that the course of action that these groups are taking is definitely wrong... and more than ever, makes one question - How can all these countries and people who have been 'engaged' in Iraq even contemplate leaving the place, pulling out, abandoning all human-relief effort NOW? Especially after the display by the 'natives' of what they could stoop to... Aceding to their requests ,leaving Iraq now, with everything in shambles, is definitely the first step of contributing to the nation's downfall; if it ain't already that trodden already...
And Yes...I Just Tendered My Resignation Today...
For those who have been asking; how come you nvr update your blog anymore...it is due to the following reasons: -
1. I simply don't have the time...Yes, I am a workaholic;
2. There is NOTHING GREAT about my life to talk about; wallowing in self pity is bad enough; you won't want me to keep whining to you about it 24/7;
3. I don't even have the time to sleep; or even apply for jobs... which is more important - my job prospects or my pathetic narration of all the trivial small things?
4. My horrendous boss is NOT worth talking about...
And now I am updating my blog is because....
Yes, as the title so clearly reflects - I have tendered my resignation today.
I was so looking forward to that confrontational scene always seen on tv or movies; where one barges into the room and screams at the boss - " HERE! I QUIT!!" and the boss would be dumbstruck, staring in complete disbelief; as their puny brains reel to try to contemplate & comprehend the implications of the whole scene.
Unfortunately, if you know anything about my company... you should be prepared for anything but that. I was determined to keep my composure; why waste my breath on her? So I walked in, told her that this is my letter of resignation, please pass to the Master...and she calmly took it and said, 'Ok, thanks'. That was it.
If I were looking for a raise/ promotion or some sort of perks and was thus doing that to utilise my position...it would have been a miserable failure man... The boss didn't even ask why, or propose a counter offer...
Oh well, no one else was surprised when I revealed that I had tendered my letter of resignation; they had more or less expected it. It was just a matter of time before I left the company; either for greener pastures ...or just because I couldn't take it anymore...
So here's to me....wishing me ALL THE BEST in my new career....'hopefully'... and that everything will go smoothly. But somehow, I still don't seem to be satisfied; I still want to go for interviews for other positions...call me crazy, greedy, ambitious...but ain't that human nature?
Go ahead; point your finger at me...
Liberation? (Definitely NOT from the Public Transportation System)
By right, I should be jumping up and down with joy; screaming my head off " I am FINALLY OUTTA THIS PLACE!!" but somehow, the feeling of elation escapes me.
If you are wondering why, that is because I have gotten an offer; that's right, a REAL JOB OFFER! ONe that pays more than my current job, has better prospects than what I am doing now...the only pet peeve is that it is FREAKING BLOODY FAR from where I stay....am gonna really travel from one end of the island to the other end...Which, I used to think, is a small price to pay for all the positive differences that I actually gain from the change in job. IT is in UBI...and i stay at the furthest western point of the MRT line....ain't this just amazing?? Whoever did the M1 ad on the amount of time spent travelling apparently hasn't included me in their survey; I probably would have spent more than 1/4 of my time just travelling.... let me cite with real examples to prove my point: -
1. When I was in primary school....while most students in my vicinity go to Boon Lay Garden Primary School (which was STILL located where it was named after) or Corporation Primary School....I was enrolled into Rulang Primary School which was all the way over in Jurong West...it didn't make sense to take any bus; you know how bus routes are in Singapore...
Hence, that took like 20- 30 min to walk to school...
2. Secondary School - RVHS... well, I was pretty lucky considering the fact that there was a straight bus; actually not really, I had to take a feeder to get to my door step. But then again, waiting for the feeder was a torture...so that meant I had to walk another 15 min to get to the bus stop, take a bus ride of 30 min to get to school.. this wasn't that bad....but still, alot of changing involved...
3. My JC...which was 'conveniently' situated just minutes away from town and all the elite housing estates...was unfortunately, freaking far from my hse...and I had to take a feeder bus, cross the road, change to another bus...which brought me to school..and the whole journey would take like 1 hr, depending on the traffic.... Aren't I just destined to travel?? (alas, within singapore only...)
4. When University was on the list; everyone was like, woah, you live in the west. That is so near to both the varsities...However, the extremely 'efficient' public transportation system in Singapore ensured that they lined their pockets with my money...and wasted my time travelling by making sure that to get to NUS, I had to: -
(i) Take 240 (feeder bus) - MRT (from Lakeside - Clementi) - 96 (feeder bus)
(ii) Take 99 (super windy route that takes 45 min) - 96 (feeder bus)
(iii) Takie 240 (feeder bus) - 30 (route that brings me past my Sec Sch- 45 min) that brings me to the BACK of the Bizad fac...
As for NTU, even though it was really near...I had to take 2 buses just to get onto the campus...'nuff said ...
And now....It's in UBI - 240 (feeder bus) - MRT from Lakeside to Eunos - 94 (feeder bus).
I might as well just give SBS & SMRT my bank book right? and save myself the trouble of spending time commuting to transfer my money to them...
