To Be Happy or Not?
It totally sounds like some kinda rhetorical question that I have posed up there...(as I am typing this, one of my fave oldie songs is being played on the Radio - Choose by Color Me Badd; actually got a JC dance for that particular song; just that the steps were just too complicated - result of having either over ambitious Dance ICs, or those who have too much faith in their juniors)
Why such a title or topic then? Hmm, I woke up this morning, with this slight resolve to be atad happier; u noe, don't let the things get to me as much as they normally would; hoping to take things in stride..and just basically be abit cheerful; not the type one gets when one OD on watever. I mean, with another 365 days added to the length of time I have existed (well, breathing & all that), I figured that it may not be that bad an idea to take things a tad easier. So, when got msg from well wishers and friends who remembered the date; it was a pleasant surprise.. I mean if one goes about 'the day' not really expecting anyone to lay the red carpet and for any surprise to happen; then one will be pleasantly surprised by even the simplest thing. It's all about expectations and reality and the difference between the 2.
Abit jittery on my part...feeling more and more nervous, partially cos of the fact that I am doing, or am going to do something illicit...Hmm, one is not supposed to actively seek other employment while being employed, right? And the crappy feeling is compounded by the fact that my co-workers are rather nice to me. I mean, I'd rather NOt find out if it's just PR or if they are really nice. [Yes, i noe, i bring the meaning of "living in blissful ignorance" to new heights]. One is actually bringing me out for some lunch treat today...just because I became older. Am feeling really guilty....because, sad to say, I still have the mentality that is so undesirable...of wanting to leave, of not committing...
That...and also the fact that they are signing me up for all these courses..events management, access...etc...oh dear, now I am feeling down in the pits...So, I guess it's no longer a question of to be happy or not..but rather, given one's circumstances...what's the instinctive thing one feels. True, it is still ultimately up to one to decide if one wants to feel happy or not...but if one has gotta try....would that be real happiness one is feeling? Hmm, still pondering abt that...
Oops...why such a culture?
Apologetic Grousing...yup, a newly coined phrase; courtesy of yours truly. Oops, cos I actually got a colleague in trouble. Haiz, not exactly the best way to climb the so-called 'corporate ladder'; that is IF it even exists in the place where I work. Yup, I can't even call it a company, cos it doesn't do business and generate profit...so the farthest I'd go would be 'organization'. And may I add, a pint-sized one.
And the worst thing is, he got a scolding partially cos of me...ARgkk, yes, I do feel terrible. Just in case you have wondered or are in the process of wondering, YES, I do have a conscience after all. True, it may not appear to be the case many a times... but just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Same concept as the existence of wind, etc...
And the whole thing boils down to the super rigid and inflexible work culture we have in Singapore. I mean, if I can finish my work in a shorter time than needed, why can't I have a longer break? Shouldn't that be the reward for my higher ' productivity' and efficiency? apparently, that's not how it works in Singapore; shouldn't this be some kinda input/ feedback for the Remaking Singapore Committee?
It's just too complicated...my puny brain is just not designed to handle such 'important' matters, especially those that are related to the policies dictated by the Singapore govt... (that's not too far from the truth, really). Just keeping my fingers crossed that it won't get pulverized...at least not in the near future.
What's Wrong With the World, Specifically You...?
Here comes installment 1 of my grousing...Readers beware, don't say you weren't forewarned. I just don't understand; yes, Work sucks (at least for most people whom I know) and it's the common work culture for Singaporeans to stay even after their official working hours are over. But if one has finished one's work and doesn't want to stay, then be my guest, DOn't!
I mean, what's the use of gripping about it when one obviously has a choice and can do something about it but just simply refuses to do so. And when I state that I understand that one is not able to leave the office, I am showing empathy and not rubbing it in. Note that, please... I mean, my official working hours are longer and I have to stay back on weekdays and weekends and someone else out there is saying that I am rubbing in the fact that the ONE (not in Matrix context) can't leave when the clock strikes 5.30 pm.
I have only one thing to say "What is Wrong With You???" Period.
My Personal Space....Literally..
Wanted to be a columnist, more specifically, a well-paid one but no one seems to be asking me for any articles so I thought I'd start out here first. My own personal graffiti board; gender-bashing; mankind-bashing; complaining/grousing area...at least others won't say that I drive them crazy with my personal opinions and strongly worded speeches. Ain't it a great idea?
