Moi moi moi MEANS....Me, myself & I (sorta, in French)
And it's NOT MOI MOI - the watever dialect version of 'little girl'. OF cos there is some meaning behind the triple mois i always use...argkk..tira..u actually thought of and referred to ME as "moi moi"....ewwww....*grimace*
So for those who have, all along, been thinking of me as Moi moi....correction...its moi moi moi....me, myself & I. Damn ego, right? I also think so....hahaha *evil laughter* ;P
*Burp*...Oops *embarrassed grin*
Been having really good food for the past few days, well, at least yesterday & today...my colleagues brought me to an event yesterday for lunch, at the Grand Copthorne Waterfront...apparently, it was the launch of their Waterfront Conference Centre..and they invited pple in the related industry for a luncheon n opening ceremony. THe food was REALLY good...had 2 dishes from Grand SHanghai and another 2 from an Italian restaurant, both in the hotel itself...the Dessert (aka the 4th course) was really to die for. It was really good, a great combination of sweet & sour things...Amazing! (too bad i can't remember the name..but i sure can recognise it the next time i see it again, if EVEr)
And they actually served SPARKLING RED WINE (in a bottle , WITH A STRAW)!!, looks totally warped ..i guess it's served like that to prevent the bubbles from escaping too fast...hmm, why not use champagne glasses or something similar? Just that, they can call them sparkling wine glasses if the technical term bothers them too much. I had that...and it was strong..11.5% alcohol content...and a glass of red wine (during the lunch itself). All these are actually free flow..but after that....had a splitting headache that continued till after the meeting...hmm, mebe the meeting was the catalyst. But still, DRINKING during office hrs..lunch time somemore....
And I met my ex-boss there (or rather, the boss i worked for as a temp during the sch hols....also an events planning company..and we sat at the same table); very small world, right? Interesting....and for each of the guest at the event, there was a special gift....for EVERYONE...a weekend stay at the hotel...WOAH! *stunned* (still stunned after a day..hehe)
sure hope no one is starving as they are reading this, if not, me gonna get scolding again..hehe..but was rushing work the whole morning, afternoon when back from lunch as well as during the evening, in preparation of the meeting. It was really crazy...the mind just doesn't function anymore...and just keep missing things. ANd it was horrid...lasted all the way till 8.30 pm...totally brain dead..but with a malfunctioning mental list of "THINGS TO DO"......
the ONly day of the week that i actually had dinner w my family....(9pm);erm, most times, they are asleep when I reach home...and talked on the phone w tira...obtained some 'interesting feedback'; haha..that is the only phrase I can think of...in terms of being tactful enough..haha. SLept late...ard 12+ but i was So stressed abt the work I have to do that i actually woke up at 5 am..can you believe it? 5 AM...i wasn't able to sleep...couldn't get to sleep....and of cos it means hell for me lah...had to take 2 panadols before coming to work.
Was actually contemplating taking time off today & going back home to sleep....but the list of "Things to Do" just nvr ends. Really, it just keeps piling and piling and piling..and just extends itself automatically without you even noticing it. Whatever happened to the shoemaker's elves? I need some office elves too.....any volunteers??
Eh..the reason why i can write so much here and at one go is cos my 2 colleagues are having a meeting w the boss...hehe..so can slack a bit..but still gotta stuff to do....me just being a procrastinator...hehe...oops, i think i hear footsteps...ciao for now!
On a Much Happier Note... Doh Ray Me Fa So La...
I am STARVING...seriously starving. Not that I haven't been hungry before, but at least not for more than 2 days in a row. And I cannot even eat more vegetables. Please don't ask why; it's a thing ONLY girls will understand; yeah....sisters of the world unite...the Four letter word we are talking about is d.i.e.t. Sad right? No idea why people even go through this torture, but I guess we are all masochistic in some ways...some guys like dripping wax...so I suppose gers do this to themselves.
Well, enough of the grousing; apparently everyone is saying that I complain a lot...but isn't it better to grouse online and then pple would have a choice of reading or not. Compare this to 'right-in-your-face' complain session. Of COZ the former is a much better and less painful experience rite? See, i CAN be considerate at times, circumstances allowing and of cos, mood dependent.
Had fun last night....met up with my Bizad frens for karaoke...(apparently, its Not KTV...cos this refers to those with PAID companions!!??!! *shock, horror, shock*) So, the next time someone says that he is going to KTV...don't say that you haven't been forewarned. Had doubts about meeting them, so late after my salsa class, since the next day (today) is a working day..and another long day as well. But this always happens - such doubts of joining them will always be dispelled when I am there. That is why i am burning myself going out....haha..but it IS fun. Also cos one of them is flying back to SHanghai today...Sabbie...take care! Hope to see u there soon man....and that ur boss treats u nicer =)
Realised that I am SO out of touch with the Mandarin music scene...primarily due to the fact that I don't listen to Mandarin songs?? So basically couldn't sing anything..but being thick-skinned, I still used the mike and forced my frens to teach me...with me singing along with them...(even though it's the first time i was hearing that particular song), so you can imagine what a racket we made.. BUt i can sing (or at least i think so, cos i know more than 25% of the lyrics) of a song by Shino...can't remember the title, but it's 2 words and Very very popular ( i think that is WHy i know parts of it, haha)
ANd they (my bizad frens) were really sweet. I am saying this despite the fact that they conned me!! Cos today (wed) is a fren's bday...Ash, happy birthday!!...and since mine was quite some time ago...but they didn't meet up to celebrate or whatever..they actually got a cake for both of us...and when Ash went to the washroom..2 of them who came in from the outside tricked me that my fren wanted me to go with her. And i actually fell for it, kinda innocent..or more frankly...dumb, right?
It's always the company that counts =)
And My Destiny is....
"Moi-moi-moi, your destiny is to be a Performer
Whether you know it or not, this is the role that is most in tune with who you are at your core. As a Performer, people are stimulated by your talkative, friendly, entertaining manner and love your generous, comical, and uninhibited way. With your outgoing, impulsive, and positive nature, you can't help but be uplifting to those around you because you are constantly showing them that loving life is productive and necessary. You are always attracted to new ideas, fashions and trends, and fascinated by the possibilities that each represent. You probably listen to your senses before making decisions, but because you are generally eager to experience all that life has to offer, you should pay even closer attention. You may have a tendency to be overly self-indulgent and this could be harmful to you and the people you love. Remember that your charming social gifts can help you go far. "
Wah, sure sounds cheem man...and I hope when they mean performer, they don't mean the street performer cos I know nuts about blowing balloons or juggling pins or whatever. And if you are wondering, NO...i did NOT bribe the computer system. I mean, I don't even know what types of destiny there are.
But if you do have comments abt this particular outcome, do let me know...(not that I care that much), but it would be interesting to have another POV from others...those who CAN read this..would probably have my email or whatever ...so just sms or email.
Me, Myself & I
Yup, this ENTIRE entry (and mebbe a few others) is gonna be that, exactly that..well, I would occasionally add in a few names here and there, purely for the sake of making sure that whatever I am gonna say makes sense. It's just like telling a story, u gotta include a few secondary characters who are involved in the story, albeit a minor role to play..if not, the main character would just look totally weird all alone in the story. So, if your name or if you think u are mentioned in the entry...don't over flatter yourself...you are mentioned due to 'necessity' to make the story make sense...geddit? If you are wondering, yes, this is Egoism (mine) at it's peak.
for those who don't know me....(or at least not well enough), basically that represents like 100% of the population in the world. Granted..a few old friends from my secondary school know me a bit better....but for the rest, nah.....everyone is far from it.
I can be jovial, crack a few stupid silly jokes ...but when I don't appear to be forthcoming in such comments or wisecracks, it just means that I am not in the greatest mood. I mean, it doesn't take a genius to see that in me...it's spelt all over my face...yes, it literally turns black. To those who view therapy and spilling everything about your problems as the BEST and ONLY way to make yourself feel better..GOOD for yoU! Unfortunately, such therapeutic ways don't work for me.
I don't like to talk about my problems...not to most people. So, when I am not forthcoming about certain issues, or I don't answer the questions direct or just not at all, just leave it...really. and skip to another totally crappy , brainless topic to talk abt. I can still laugh abit over that. Cos, if i don't ....then it's really serious. Sorry, if we do happen to be out and i am such a spirit dampener...but isn't friendship a matter of give and take. (hmm, even though i do seem to be taking many a time).
Don't worry, I'll recover..it's just a matter of time. talking abt my problems, or what's pent up inside me, won't help me solve my problems. I just need the time and the right combination of factors to change it, or rather ' recover'? so, if u do have the misfortune of seeing it...erm, welcome to my world? and just let it be....if you want to start conversations, just talk abt crappy stuff like movies...songs, etc...all that brainless stuff...
Much appreciated.
Mood Swings, See-Saws and Slides
Yes, I know, the bane of mankind..and really literally man-kind in this particular context. I can't say that I am not guilty of them..but to all who are reading my blog...mind you, i have really improved TREMENDOUSLY over the years! You should have known or seen me in Secondary school...esp sec 2...that's the real stuff. What u have experienced now (if you have that misfortune), is nothing but a totally diluted, watered-down version of what I am capable of.
But sometimes, it is not something you can control. If everything shitty just decides to form a coalition and drop the bomb on me within the time frame of a few days/ hours...how can I NOT feel shitty? I mean, it's my life, it's MY mood, why the heck should you bother? And when i am in such a dark, explosive mood, you won't wanna come near or even attempt a feeble joke. If looks can kill, mine definitely can...totally murderous, really.
Hence, if i am quiet, don't choose to speak much..and when probed, reply that i am just tired...beat it...what else do you want? I mean, if i am pissed at someone...and the person comes and ask me, " why? pissed ar? angry ar? bad mood ar?" How do you expect me to reply? "yes?!" a stone cold "no" would speak volumes!
Therefore, to all my fellow huMAN beings who unfortunately have the great misfortune of knowing me... if you still don't get it, get some brain tonic. (SOmetimes, it helps)
CPF cuts...my 2 cents worth (oops, it's only worth 1 cent now...)
Yes...1 cent only; gotta bring down costs of labour...make singapore more competitive...ain't that what the govt is singing now?
yup, CPF contribution will be slashed from 36% to 30%. That is Definite; when PM GOh said that there will be a possibility of something bad happening cos of govt policy...it WILL happen. It's a Reality, not just a possibility. Everyone hinges onto his every word and letter such that even if it wasn't meant to be....those who follow word to the letter will make it so; including those from the public sectors. And that is to reduce the cost of operating or business in singapore...hence, we all gotta accept a reduction in our salaries, in a bid to make it more affordable for everyone...but the irony is here....if the prices of daily neccesities do not go down, the prices of HDB flats don't go down, the fares for public transport don't go down...how do we survive? I mean, on one end, we are being handed less money...to make singapore more competitive, so they claim. On the other hand, the fares of public transport are hiked because they are not making as much profit as before. ADuh...if one is making losses, then fine...but the blood sucking companies are hiking fees BECAUSE they are not making AS MUCH MONEY AS BEFORE. what kinda WARPed logic is that? and what kinda warped govt accepts that screwed up reasoning? OURS....yup, true-blue Singaporean companies, govt. Impressive, huh? totally amaze other nations man....in the wrong way.
Shitty Day, Shitty Week, Shitty Life
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Me, myself and HER!!!
some people are just darn ungrateful; I would believe the common derogratory term most apt here would be 'INGRATE". Sad to say, I know of such an organism and is closely related to yours truly. Too closely related, might I add; the distance of 2 continents between us is definitely NOT enough. A few planets in between might just do the trick - might; who knows if it will really work or not? Since I haven't had the opportunity to try that. Any one with feasible suggestions or ideas to make that happen; please contact me as soon as possible. 21 years of being related is really too much to bear; it's a WONDER that yours truly is still alive, though barely. Am in the process of being suffocated...*help!!!*
When a favour is done for you such that it alleviates your financial difficulties, a simple word of thanks would the minimum. Even if words are not being used to convey one's 'heart-felt' thanks, the attitude of the one receiving the favour should at least be better, and not demanding of this or that. Unfortunately, the organism I am referring to, has no such manners. You'd wonder where the hell she learns hers from. It's definitely not from the family, since yours truly possess much better manners and shows better up-bringing. Many a time, I have wondered, "what would life be like, as a single child?" and the thoughts (great ones, mind you), that have sparked from that invoking question alone is more than enough to give me tinge of bitter regret.
No...apparently someone has been SO pampered and left to have her own way every given time that she takes it for granted that the red carpet treatment that her other friends have given her, (and I have absolutely NO idea why; perhaps a spell has been cast their way) applies to every other human being who exists and has the misfortune of having contact with her. Not just knowing her, living with her, interacting with her, but CONTACT. Poor us. The fact that everyone else condones her wilful, childish acts and behavior just makes matters worse....and I am the one who has to suffer. It has reached a point where I cannot even be bothered to argue; I have better things to do. But sometimes, like today, it just totally gets on my nerves, gets me SO freaking pissed...ARGKKKK.
Solutions please, before I self destruct in the process...
What Has The World Come To?
Wanted to write about something light-hearted, but heard of something that set me thinking...pondering...wondering and eventually worrying about the world we are in now..or rather, the working society in Singapore. Going through a myriad of feelings now; what to feel, what to think; how to feel, how to think. Is there a RIGHT way to feel or to think? Or are we just supposed to go along with the flow...do whatever one heart is telling you. Yet still, one's subconscious will still be at the back of one's mind, whispering softly..but persistently..
What set off this train of thought was hearing of the news that an old veteran will be laid off just because of his age. He can perform his duties perfectly well, albeit a bit slower, but if he can help it, wouldn't he want to be faster? It's all biological; we are all made in such a way that we will age, respond slower as compared to before, that is life; that is the way it is meant to be. Sure, granted the fact that exercise, a good diet will probably allow one to be more energetic, but it's just a delay of such signs...one will eventually be frail, slower in action and all that.
Doesn't loyalty count for anything? Why then do they have long service awards? 24 years, that's 288 months; it's 8720 days...Yours truly here has only worked for less than 30 days and have already harboured the thought of quitting on the 1st day itself! That man worked for 24 whole years...and the most disgusting thing (to me) is that the reason behind his termination is just that he is slow. He is still medically fit to do his work; he has the authorisation from a doctor to prove that...but no....it's not good enough. But, how fast does one have to be to just deliver packages?
This is cost cutting to the extreme...and as the severance package..it is just a few months' pay....Where is the justice in this?! Or rather....where is the humanity a decent human being should have? just reminds me of the song by Black Eye Peaz "Where is the Love?" - which I think is totally apt. That songs talks abt the dble standards adopted by the US government....here, I see the dble standards existent in the working society of Singapore.
On one hand, the govt is telling pple to retrain, to add value..and to work longer and older. (actually, one has no choice, with the increasing lifespan of people and the higher medical costs, one HAS TO work longer). They are also asking companies to hire older staff...but I clearly do not see any implementation of such a scheme here.
I was so sickened by the situation that I made a mental note to myself..If I ever have to be in such a position; pls let me be more humane and considerate. It's not my life that's being affected; it's the life of a fellow human being. Who breathes the same air, walk the same path as I do. That's basically who we are; once one strips away the educational qualifications; the material possessions..how different are we from one another?
English Muffins and Cheese
was having that for breakfast this morning; didn't have the time to slowly savour the melted cheese atop the slightly crispy ard the edges; yet chewy in the centre english muffin at home. So had to bring it to office..where the feeling was totally different..and it was consumed out of a plastic bag.
Had a moment of nostalgia...becos I used to go to MacDonald's and eat that for breakfast...with a cup of tea and a copy of the Straits Times with Class 95 playing in the background... yeah...totally enjoyed those moments of solitude; not that I really felt lonely..but I did enjoy the peace and the pace of life.
And it was a great place, even though the branch was really old...the fact that it was less crowded probably made me like it more ( I totally cannot stand crowds...argkk). I could slowly savour the piping hot tea...while reading the papers..(and i DO read MORe than the LIFE! section; the only thing I don't read is Business/ Money and SPorts...i read all the rest...current affairs are serously so much more interesting) haha, sometimes i wonder (as in seriously wonder), if I did make the correct choice in U...to go into Bizad....up till now, I still can't make head or tail of the stock figures n stuff...yeah..there is this hate-hate relationship that I have with numbers.
It is interesting to note that such simple luxuries can provide one with so much nice memories and pleasure...not so much wat one ate..but rather of the memory of it. I had always looked forward to enjoying my breakfast at the MacDonald's near my place..armed with a thick copy of the Straits times..just thinking about it can make me rather happy. Indeed, one should have more of such memories as well as experiences...not difficult to duplicate...but provides one with such contentment.
Yup, English muffins, cheese, tea and a copy of the papers...with nary thought or a worry in the world.
Brain Dead? oR Juz Physically Tired?
I would probably answer "positive" to both questions posed up there. I haven't really gotten used to working life yet; I mean, pls...3 consecutive years of not really studying...waking at 11 am...bumming around...of cos the current lifestyle and habits would totally tire me out man. Wasn't well known for being able to pull all-nighters or surviving the days without much sleep. yeah..i need SLEEP ...not a lot, but enough to get me through the day.
Dragged myself to town today...absolutely HAD To get a suit...and the amazing thing was..i was actually at the same place YEsterday...idling, walking ard abit..but just didn't have the time to really take a look at what they have...not to mention that there were 3 guys ard..haha..not exactly the BEST timing to go looking for clothes...
And it's a POWER SUIT!! actually, it's not 'powerful-looking' [if one can give a suit SUCH attributes] did try on the ReAl powerful looking one..my fren actually went.."WAH..power man..." it was freaking hilarious...but got a softer looking one...her bf actually came as well and gave comments on how long the sleeves should be...how long the skirt should be...how high the slit should be..and amazingly.. the changes if one wears heels...Woah..even I didn't noe that. Had to make alterations to the sleeve length n stuff..but it was overall ok lah...suits are freaking expensive man...but didn't have much choice..needed one for interview this coming week. Sure hope it goes well....
and i gotta STOP buying black clothes..esp black tops....everything I have is starting to look the same..cos they are all of the same color..BLACK...not that it's my fave color..but it is seriously easy to match..i mean, at least i wont be hauled up by the fashion police and be accused of causing public distress cos of my horribly mismatched clothes...
There's Gotta Be More To Life...
Yup, that is actually a title of a song from Stacie Orrico; some 17-year old singer from the USA, i suppose. THe same one who sang stuck..but I like this song too, esp the chorus where she goes..."There's gotta be more to life..than chasing every temporary high to satisfy me" Which I think is TOTALLY Apt...for me, as well as all the yuppie wannabes out there..and basically about 70% of the people I noe (who are around my age lah...) Mebe all that's part of the rat race..but it's still part of the vicious cycle...cos we work so damn hard..we tend to do some stuff that gives us a high..but it doesn't last..hence temporary..and when it's over, we just dumped onto the earth again..& get a taste of the real world - all over again.
But there's gotta be more to life...than chasing every temporary high to satisfy me...(erm, in my case...sad to say..it's gotta be booze and a 'happening' lifestyle? Totally yuppie wannabe man...shallow, i agree...but till i have been enlightened by a life transforming moment ...still wanna lead a slightly decadent life. Won't wanna miss out on all the experiences...yeah..muz always try out all things when one is young...Life is short...too short...but for me..i would think it's too long. Definitely won't like to envision myself hobbling around on some walking stick, with medication on me all the time...wanna die young ...seriously won't wanna age...it's just too horrible a process to go through. Mebe my POV will change in 5 years time...but for now...I stick to my stand.
Saturday Night Blues
Instead of Monday blues...why am I feeling the saturday nite blues? Or more accurately, the early SUnday Morning Blues...Becos it signals the start of the end of the weekend; totally confusing, I noe..but it does make perfect sense. Anyway, been reaching home at an average time of 11.30 pm every weekday nite..and yesterday and today; near 3 am. NOt a happening lifestyle in the works, I can assure you...somehow it just happened.....spontaneity?
Oh..and THANKS to Degussa...for the birthday movie treat; much appreciated...quite a humourous show; Bad Boyz 2...hmmm, my 2nd RA show in a theatre...(this year..and in my lifetime). haha, way overdue, I noe..but somehow, there just didnt seem to be any RA shows worth catching in the past..
EDB called today...said something about doing a phone screening....hmm, but was on the bus..so not convenient to do it; the person said she'll call me on Monday...eh..at work leh...abit hard rite? What is irritating is the timing of all these calls...it's really hard for me to take leave or get time off work to attend the interviews (if there ARE any in the first place) IF u are wondering why on earth am I still harping on this issue....HEy..this is MY blog...private graffiti board and complain forum, u noe..hehe. Why also sorta explains why there is no comments option (besides the fact that I get wowed by the html stuff...yup, complete IT idiot - yours truly)
just got back from movie & supper..and still wondering how long i can keep this up...going out after work, going out & hanging out w frens on weekends....keeping up w the lessons & tuition....will I get burned out? I also have no idea..but there are just so many things one has to do...so many 'obligations' and SO little time...life is way too short to be wasted..and we are spending like 1/3 of our days in the office...i calculated..and work and work related stuff - travelling & preparation, actually takes up ard 12 hrs of my day....that's more than 1/2 a day..AMAZing..or more aptly, SCARY...!!!
Dilemma...
No matter what I do, all I think about it you....
Yup, stuck in some dilemma, but NOT between 2 guys (IF ONLY; yup, everyone working in the CBD can hear my sigh). Actually, it's more to do with jobs and work and employment..and all the stuff that follow it; prospects, colleagues, pay, benefits, etc. Actually had to postpone an interview with Accenture..ACCENTURE leh...(paiseh lah, but i still get wowed by MNCs...). But it IS slightly ridiculous...I mean, what company calls you the day before, for an interview the next day? Well, besides Accenture and CPF Board (this one even MOre winner, man...dun even call; just SMS..and it's like at 7 pm the night before..amazing right?)
And the thing is, my whole office knows about it (or more accurately, my division head and my other colleague) yeah..plus me, that makes up the WHOLE division...mebe now u'll understand why there is this 'crave'? to work for larger, more reputable MNCs & the like. I mean, it Does look better on one's resume..and I seriously don't plan to stay here or at any one single organization all my life...no way..(true, I may change my stand 5 years down the road...but at least that is the way I am feeling about it at the moment)
What she said, besides the prior shocked, " why? you not happy here ar?" was that "don't tell the big boss"...haha..but she was amazed/ shocked at the number of interviews I have to go..cos i keep having to take time off and leave..and I JUST found out that I can actually take HRS off and not the whole half day or whole day.
Older & Feeling It?
23rd birthday passed uneventfully; basically, not many people remembered it. Not that I expected them to anyway...when you don't expect something..and it happens, it is much more pleasant than expecting something and not having it occur...yeah, my warped theory of expectations and surprises. And the thing is...many pple actually think its on the 31st July...argkk..even my own sister...which is not that bad, considering that even my own parents forgot...which just goes to show how well-loved I am..haha.....
totally Sadz...or just plain amazing..but i am sorta used to it..so wat? now dreading birthdays..cos it just means i am getting older...so the less i have ..the better...then i'll be forever young..yeah..self denial..but hey.this is MY personal blog..no one has the address or noe who it is..so heck lah...it is my own graffiti board anyway...
and Freaking Tired.....
